The OP has returned!!!
So, sorry for the long delay. As I believe I stated in my posts, my girlfriend (now wife) was pregnant. Needless to say I've been a bit preoccupied with being a new dad and all those sleepless nights that come with it. Well worth it though, I must say.
Anyways, back to the point. I had been meaning to give you guys an update as to the situation so any future people that log in here can have somewhere or something to point to next time they try to get this issue fixed. I just got an update/email saying a new person posted which reminded me to finally do just that.
It's the starter. Shortly after my last post in March or April or whenever it was we went into the dealership. I kept mentioning it sounded like the starter was trying to fire and just failing (click, try again, click, try again, click, try again, until eventually no more clicks). Finally a technician listened to me and did a diagnostic test on the starter and deemed it was faulty and replaced it.
Ever since the starter has been replaced, there have been zero issues and has started up 100% of the time without fail or even a slight hiccup. It's been nearly 4 months now (if not more). It's been in cold weather (~40degrees), warm weather, hot weather (~95+ degrees), in direct sunlight, etc. and has started each of those times.
So long story short, if you're having this issue have them look at the starter. I was finally glad to have this solved and I hope this helps anyone else who gets this unfortunate manufacturer defect with their new car.